Rusty Pencil
74 awful, yet funny, gardening puns to make your eyes roll.
The world of greeting cards is awash with puns. You can’t be considered a true humorous greeting card publisher unless you’ve cut your...
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Rusty Pencil
- Oct 18, 2022
Old sexist ads that could be funny cards. Or maybe not.
Would you love to make exquisite cheval mats in crochet? There’s a mag for that. Do you know how to plan a picnic with luncheon meat and...
Rusty Pencil
- Aug 16, 2022
Do we lose our sense of humour as we age?
Let's begin with a joke: A penguin walks into a pub. He says to the barman, 'Have you seen my brother?' The barman says, 'I don't know....
Rusty Pencil
- Jul 14, 2022
10 of the funniest cards you've probably never seen before.
Humour is a funny thing. What I find funny you probably find as funny as sucking on a lemon. Thankfully, there are a zillion funny cards...
Rusty Pencil
- Jun 27, 2022
Ageist birthday cards. Are they harmful? Or harmless fun?
Ageism is rife in the world. I’m not surprised. There are a lot of us old buggers around. I’m in my mid-60s and our age group is rapidly...
Rusty Pencil
- May 18, 2022
10 annoying words and phrases that get on my nerves. And probably everyone else's.
Do some words irritate you? Here's my top 10 list of the annoying words and phrases that get on my nerves.
Rusty Pencil
- Feb 15, 2022
What do mothers want for Mother's Day? Not to be mother, for a start.
The kids are whining, the cat’s puked up a hairball on the carpet, there’s a sock in the bathroom sink, a lego brick in the teapot, and...
Rusty Pencil
- Dec 10, 2021
I have no idea what I'm doing. Do you?
So. Do you have any idea what you're doing? I certainly don't.
Rusty Pencil
- Nov 26, 2021
Why do we send cards from the dog?
There are a million things a dog can’t do. It can’t jump into your car and take the kids to school. It has no idea how to mow the lawn,...
Rusty Pencil
- Nov 10, 2021
The origins of dad jokes, and why they'll always be, and should be, crap.
I admit it. I stole the line from someone else. From a chimp, to be precise. The original joke was: ‘Dad, do you know the piano’s on my...
Rusty Pencil
- Oct 26, 2021
Funny and rude Christmas cards online - not the usual crap ones
We Brits don’t do things by halves when it comes to Christmas. When you suffer eleven and a half months of sheer drudgery and the...
Rusty Pencil
- Oct 14, 2021
What to write in a birthday card for mum
You’ve heard of novelists having writer’s block. Now there’s greeting card writer’s block. It's when someone struggles to come up with...
Rusty Pencil
- Sep 27, 2021
What's the rule about using exclamation marks? (Er...don't.)
There’s a terrible disease going around at the moment. You’ve seen it in all the tabloids, websites and social media. Chances are it’s...
Rusty Pencil
- Sep 10, 2021
Funny birthday cards for Mums. Aye. They're rude more like. Not like them in olden days.
Yes, why are they so rude? Is it because we don't love them? Or is because we can't tell the truth?
Rusty Pencil
- Aug 26, 2021
What to write in a 60th birthday card. And other daft ideas you can find on the internet.
You could write something like ‘Happy 60th! Enjoy your day!’ (Must have exclamation marks.) Or ‘Have a great day!’ Or maybe something...
Rusty Pencil
- Aug 12, 2021
Awesome! Stop using this word.
If there’s one thing in the world that will make you look a fool, apart from proudly striding out of your home and onto the train to work...
Rusty Pencil
- Jul 21, 2021
Where do ideas come from?
Where do funny ideas come from? A view from a greeting card publisher of humorous cards of where ideas come from.
Rusty Pencil
- Jun 9, 2021
Why men can't be arsed to buy cards.
Us men are rubbish when it comes to buying cards. It must be something in our genes – and not just in our jeans – that makes us different...
Rusty Pencil
- May 18, 2021
Father's Day cards 2021. Why bother?
Poor old Dads. While Mum and the kids take centre stage, Dad is faffing around in the background trying to do something useful like...
A humorous and insightful blog about greeting cards (including rude birthday cards and other silly ones).
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