Rusty Pencil
'Funny cards for 60-year-olds aren’t funny,’ says man with no sense of humour.
Rusty Pencil helps a man who has no sense of humour find a funny 60th birthday card for his best friend.
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A humorous and insightful blog about greeting cards (including rude birthday cards and other silly ones).
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Rusty Pencil
- Jul 25
- 1 min
Who needs 1st Class Stamps on letters anyway?
Post Office to stop common folk buying 1st Class Stamps. It's about time! We must keep up standards.
Rusty Pencil
- Jul 18
- 1 min
Rude cards should be labelled with a rude-o-meter.
It's about time that we made a stand against rude cards. I'm all for it, for fuck's sake.
Rusty Pencil
- Jun 29
- 1 min
Royal Mail delivers a birthday card. Eventually.
Royal Mail has outdone itself again. This is the true story about a 10-year-old boy receiving his birthday card nine years late from his...
Rusty Pencil
- Jan 23
- 4 min
Where to buy funny get well soon cards.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Judging by the number of people in the waiting room at my local medical centre I visited recently,...
Rusty Pencil
- Jan 12, 2023
- 2 min
74 awful, yet funny, gardening puns to make your eyes roll.
The world of greeting cards is awash with puns. You can’t be considered a true humorous greeting card publisher unless you’ve cut your...
Rusty Pencil
- Oct 18, 2022
- 2 min
Old sexist ads that could be funny cards. Or maybe not.
Would you love to make exquisite cheval mats in crochet? There’s a mag for that. Do you know how to plan a picnic with luncheon meat and...
Rusty Pencil
- Aug 16, 2022
- 6 min
Do we lose our sense of humour as we age?
Let's begin with a joke: A penguin walks into a pub. He says to the barman, 'Have you seen my brother?' The barman says, 'I don't know....
Rusty Pencil
- Jul 14, 2022
- 4 min
10 of the funniest cards you've probably never seen before.
Humour is a funny thing. What I find funny you probably find as funny as sucking on a lemon. Thankfully, there are a zillion funny cards...
Rusty Pencil
- Jun 27, 2022
- 6 min
Ageist birthday cards. Are they harmful? Or harmless fun?
Ageism is rife in the world. I’m not surprised. There are a lot of us old buggers around. I’m in my mid-60s and our age group is rapidly...
Rusty Pencil
- May 18, 2022
- 5 min
10 annoying words and phrases that get on my nerves. And probably everyone else's.
Do some words irritate you? Here's my top 10 list of the annoying words and phrases that get on my nerves.
Rusty Pencil
- Feb 15, 2022
- 4 min
What do mothers want for Mother's Day? Not to be mother, for a start.
The kids are whining, the cat’s puked up a hairball on the carpet, there’s a sock in the bathroom sink, a lego brick in the teapot, and...
Rusty Pencil
- Dec 10, 2021
- 3 min
I have no idea what I'm doing. Do you?
So. Do you have any idea what you're doing? I certainly don't.
Rusty Pencil
- Nov 26, 2021
- 3 min
Why do we send cards from the dog?
There are a million things a dog can’t do. It can’t jump into your car and take the kids to school. It has no idea how to mow the lawn,...
Rusty Pencil
- Nov 10, 2021
- 4 min
The origins of dad jokes, and why they'll always be, and should be, crap.
I admit it. I stole the line from someone else. From a chimp, to be precise. The original joke was: ‘Dad, do you know the piano’s on my...
Rusty Pencil
- Oct 26, 2021
- 5 min
Funny and rude Christmas cards online - not the usual crap ones.
We Brits don’t do things by halves when it comes to Christmas. When you suffer eleven and a half months of sheer drudgery and the...
Rusty Pencil
- Oct 14, 2021
- 3 min
What to write in a birthday card for mum
You’ve heard of novelists having writer’s block. Now there’s greeting card writer’s block. It's when someone struggles to come up with...
Rusty Pencil
- Sep 27, 2021
- 4 min
What's the rule about using exclamation marks? (Er...don't.)
There’s a terrible disease going around at the moment. You’ve seen it in all the tabloids, websites and social media. Chances are it’s...
Rusty Pencil
- Sep 10, 2021
- 3 min
Funny birthday cards for Mums. Aye. They're rude more like. Not like them in olden days.
Yes, why are they so rude? Is it because we don't love them? Or is because we can't tell the truth?
Rusty Pencil
- Aug 26, 2021
- 3 min
What to write in a 60th birthday card. And other daft ideas you can find on the internet.
You could write something like ‘Happy 60th! Enjoy your day!’ (Must have exclamation marks.) Or ‘Have a great day!’ Or maybe something...
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