Where to buy funny get well soon cards.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Judging by the number of people in the waiting room at my local medical centre I visited recently, it doesn’t look like it.

I suspect if you were to waft an apple under anyone’s nose they probably would stare at you and reply ‘I don’t eat vegetables.’

I couldn’t believe how many ill people were squeezed in there. Where do they all come from?

So many ill people, so many get well messages

In the 12 months to October 2023, there were an estimated 358 million GP appointments. And they were all in the waiting room.

Source: NHS England

Inevitably, the hospital waiting list is long. 7.8 million people long, in fact.

It includes millions hoping for an operation. Along with the more serious procedures, such as cancer and heart operations, the most common include:

• 89,000 hip operations

• 100,000 hernia operations

• 100,000 knee replacements

• 30,000 hysterectomies

• 30,000 tonsillectomies

These are just a few of the many hundreds of thousands of operations carried out on average every year. No wonder the NHS is exhausted.

That’s a lot of grapes to buy. It’s also a lot of get well soon cards to buy.

With so many ill people floating around it’s no wonder the get well soon card market is healthy.

Being ill is good news for us card publishers. Let’s make everyone ill and get rich.

It’s a known fact that a receiving a greeting card lifts the spirits, unlike a bunch of grapes which generally is received with a strained smile tinged with disappointment.

A jolly nice, funny, cheeky uplifting get well soon card will always do the trick.

Yet despite the GCA (Greeting Card Association) being enthusiastic about the creativity of the card industry I do find many cards highly derivative, and I can’t imagine anyone being uplifted by a predictable, hackneyed card.

Finding that unique get well soon card after surgery or for someone simply under the weather, is hard to come by, but I hunted out a few that I like. Maybe you’ll like them too.

Naturally, the cards are mostly on the funny side. Most of the following card publishers I know from trade shows.

Some hilarious get well cards for your not so well chum.

Bewilderbeest

First up is a quirky cat in a cone get well soon card. Iain Hamilton of Bewilderbeest is the loon who thinks up and draws these fun cards. As you can tell he loves a spot of absurdity.

Being from a jolly farmer family he literally draws his inspiration from all the animals that surround him, though I have no idea where he keeps the giraffes and zebras.

Doctor, doctor. I think I’m a pair of curtains.

Pull yourself together man.

Objectables

Some more silliness from Objectables. Owners Tim and Annie Gould sell their wares in their fun and popular gift shop in sunny Folkestone. I assume it’s sunny as it’s on the south coast and points towards France.

They love a dash of tomfoolery – or should that be timfoolery – and their cards are full of it. A perfect get well soon card for someone not quite at death’s door.

Covid, the flu and the plague walk into a bar.

The barman says ‘Is this some kind of sick joke?’

Kissmekwik

Being an advertising copywriter by trade, I do like a good pun. This card by Kissmekwik uses a recursive pun where the second part relies upon you understanding the first part. I bet you didn’t know that. I didn’t.

This is a great get well soon after surgery card. Obvs. Kissmekwik has been doing fun cards for donkey’s years. It’s based in Brighton and its famous Vintage Illustration range is a hoot.

Pack a Punch Designs

Pack a Punch Designs certainly doesn’t hold any punches. Straight to the point, no-nonsense, no holds barred.

The owner and designer Sophie grew up with four brothers so knows how to handle herself when it comes to sharp banter. A great get well soon card for no-nonsense people.

Conjunctivitis.com. That’s a site for sore eyes.

Cardinky

I might be a word man but I also like visual gags. Dannyboy is a cartoonist and illustrator who runs Cardinky, and we were neighbours at a trade show in 2019. You can find a lot of his cards at many well-known retailers.

I love the stroppy face and crossed arms. Danny loves his pet Dachshund and you’ll find him on many of his cards. The Dachshund that is, not Danny.

I’ve got a terrible cough. I think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis,

but it’s hard to say. 

Jo Clark Design

I used to have a cat and I’m a bit of a sucker when it comes to our feline friends. I like this card by Jo Clark Design.

It’s a classic old cat in a cone card. I love the free and easy style of her handwriting. The illustrations are simple and neat too. And of course, it has a silly cat pun.

A doctor says to a patient ‘You have acute appendicitis.’

‘Why thank you,’ says the patient. ‘You’ve got lovely eyes.’

Doodleshoe

This may not be a funny card but I like it because it reminds me of my black cat. I met Jane of Doodleshoe at a trade show.

I like the simple execution and neat wording. Very clear, very graphic. Jane also designs shoes, hence Doodleshoe.

Nurse: ‘What’s the condition of the boy who swallowed the fifty pence piece?'

Doctor: ‘No change yet.’

Helen Wiseman

I love pen and ink drawings, especially with watercolour. I met Helen Wiseman at a trade show. She has a lovely loose style with her watercolour illustrations.

This card is a cutey and is bound to cheer up any poor soul who is having a bad time.

Rusty Pencil

Last but not least, Rusty Pencil's bestselling get well soon card. I don’t what it is about this card, but to me, it seems a touch cruel and I thought it would never sell.

But then again, that’s British humour for you. We like to take the mickey out of people even when they’re ill.

Let me know if you find a hilarious get well soon card. We need to improve the quality out there.

Keep safe, don’t get ill, and eat an apple a day.

See ya!